Many of us did have this "Burn out moments" without us realising; while we are trying so hard to be a great parents. We are trying so hard to get all done, getting everything into perfection and have it our way.
We are both an income provider, we are trying to be a great parents in the family and ending up like a headless chicken trying to be super parents - juggling between work, family, kids, in law, parents, financials, and the list are never ending.
I could tell you it's not easy being a SAHM (Stay at home mum) nor a FTWM (Full time working mum). I had tried both.
Now as a FTHM, my expectation to the housework stress me a lot, trying to get everything done after the kids sleep at night and before they wake up in the morning. I got so stressed that I am focusing on hubby not helping out with house chores, while hubby got stressed focusing on children little not-so-behaved manner and linked to the wife for being not discipline enough with the kids.
It wasn't only house chores but also demand on work making it worse - time spent replying messages, chasing deadlines.
It has never been an easy path balancing these lifestyles. I only realised when I open up and broke down the other day, yes uncontrollably. I had a party one day, I did a full make up - and I realised I had not been doing make up for a very long time. I hadn't been looking beautiful for long, I had not been doing a lot for myself. Looking at the mirror long enough make me realised I miss the moment - outings, looking good and enjoying my life.
Things had got so routine to us (as parent) that we forgot to talk about us (as couple). It was a session that make known both of us are burning out from the daily routine. It was not the tiny winy thing that make us upset, it wasn't the kids that being naughty, it wasn't the dusty floor that make us mad, but it was the us - we have not be happy of ourselves.We did not love ourselves enough.
We miss our gym time to look good, I miss our girlfriend talk, we miss our hangout with friends, I miss the shopping, and I miss my spa. 7 days a week to a single person may be sufficient for lots of activities but 7 days a week are too short for parents like us - minus-ing kids tuition hour, "enormous" homework from Chinese schools (haha- yes one of the bigger stress when parent like me don't read Chinese and kids is stressing it out too), dinner time and yay! We are too tired nor no time to talk about movies nor games as we just want to lay on bed and soundly asleep.
Yes, we are not alone. But we are working it out. We got our "me" day now, once in a week. Things got better and I am cherishing it. I am a happier lady staring at the mirror, powdering my face, shaping up my brow, perking up with a pinkish lipstick - and yes! I am beautiful.
Thanks mummies for sharing your thoughts and encouragement. We did not realised we are burnt out until we talk - and knowing that we are not alone, making it easier for us to digest that it's not a biggie after all. It's okay to cry than to have that 'unsolved depression'. We wouldn't want to end up in the news headline "Mummy jumping down from the building out of depression".
Cherish life, life is too short, friends and families are there for us - if we reach out to them.
Lots of Love...
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