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I told my son "I am sorry, mummy over react"
I held Jaden tightly for the longest time yesterday. I told him "I am sorry, mummy over react. I know you have done your best."
A night before was a crazy night. I was assisting him revising his mandarin essay, (Yes, you hear it right, I am helping with his "Mandarin" when I know nothing on the words). I had to repeatedly ask him what he wrote and consistently give him idea that he should have it write it longer.
The essay that we discussed is "My birthday", "A visit to the park" and gosh it took like 3 hour. 3 hour during weekend is nothing, but 3 hour after office hour is something - not so calm after settling deadlines and paperwork in the office.
I had gotten him to write and re-write, get grammars and everything right with the help from hubby. Happy mummy as enough of words, wordings is right and these 2 story could also associate with "The best day of my life", "My Memorable time", "My saddest moment".. aha! Perfect. Case close and went to sleep, crossing every fingers and feet that he ain't coming back with a red result.
*** in the middle reminding him again and again not to wander out, and not to write something that is very new to you ***
Morning comes, assured him he will do just fine and yay! Off he went to the exam. I had a "Relief" that moment.
In a mother's chat group, it was a relief to know that the title of the essay was "My unforgettable moment". Okay at least we had practise it and he will be good.
Coming back, he told me he wrote about his trip to Taiwan. @@
M: O.M.G Do you know how to write the word "Taiwan" in Mandarin?
J: Nope, so I write going to US
M: (Flared Up). Do you know what's in US?
J: Nope, I wrote about going to KLIA, sit plane, going to eat, sleeping, going places. (very generic)
M: (getting him to remember and tell me about what he wrote). Okay, there is no details as from Day 2, directly skip to Day 8. Arghhhh. I gave him a stern look. What were you thinking when we spent the entire night practising and I say (a strong word here) that you could use the same story but insert a different footage. Unforgettable is same as my memorable. Why can't you write about the park, about the birthday.
J: He burst out crying and say, I thought it's different.
M: (Crazy and out of mind) I show him again the paper that we revise and pointed out what he should do. and Questioning him again. Yes, till he cry Badly.
That's when I hug him and I say sorry. I tell him I had over react, I know you love Taiwan so much that you want to write on it, and that I know you had try your best. I am sorry. I will be always with you. Mummy loves you!
Next day, I come to know that they need to also adhere to the 100 words. That could be the reason skipping the 2nd day to 8th day.
I realised that I am being unreasonable, quick tempered, judging my son too early. I had not taking into account his stress, but focusing on his passing of Mandarin paper. I had gone hysterical.
Things is not always what we expect, but with this scenario, I realised how much he treasured and love our Taiwan trip that he want to pen it to share. It's his TRUE unforgettable moment. He is a risk taker and has his own opinion. He wanted to try new ideas to see if it works.
Education should be that way. The pace and syllabus is making us chasing after grades as they are coping with it on a hard way. Not talking about A's but just to pass the paper. I never know I had to write essay our time during Grade 3??.
Raising kids is challenging. Maybe I need some rest and take one thing at a time.
Jaden, when you see this in your teenage years, in my mind that night, I wanted you to pass that badly and wanted you to gain confidence in dealing with your Mandarin, but I didn't know it will hurt your feeling so bad.
Just want you to know that mummy is always with you. You will excel.
And for mummies who had been struggle out there, you are not alone.
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